I thought I’d
leave “The Red Body Stocking” for a while and concentrate on how to
write dialogue that sounds real and is true to each character. Here
is an extract from my book on Short Story Writing. I hope you find it useful.
Writing
Great Dialogue
Dialogue is an
extremely powerful tool in fiction but should be used with care; characters
need to sound real, but real people do not speak in complete, formal
sentences. Listen on a train the next time you go on one and listen to the way
people actually speak. They interrupt each other or change the conversation’s
direction. [We all know the feeling of not being listened to!] Listen to the slang people use. Remember how
young people scatter the word ‘like’ throughout their conversation. E.g. I was
like walking down the road.’ This marks their age. Have you ever heard an older
person speak this way? The way people use words also marks where they come
from. The Welsh often end sentences with a question like this. ‘You won’t guess
who I saw yesterday, will you?’ The Irish use idioms like ‘to be sure.’
However, be careful you don’t overdo idioms or you could be creating the
stereotypical person.
Remember also that
every word your characters say needs to fit a specific purpose. Simply moving
the story forward isn’t enough. It must also reveal nuances of their character,
reveal a tiny fragment of their back-story, and suggest their relationship to
the character they’re speaking with.
Listen in on
conversations and you’ll discover that there is often one who leads and one who
follows. The next time you hear two individuals conversing, take careful note:
who has the upper hand? How is this shown? Through tone of voice or through
body language, or something else entirely? And, if this is the case, how would
you describe it on paper?
Dialogue
and Body Language
Your protagonist may have a favourite saying/swear
word/exclamation that is his trademark. He may resort to clichés or use proverbs.
However, while he is talking, he will seldom remain still. He will often use
body language to indicate his frame of mind. He may make faces, move his body
awkwardly or speak in a particular tone of voice.
Consider this example:
‘So, what did you think of Roger?’
Sally didn’t answer. She knew what was coming.
‘Did you like him?’ Matthew toyed with a spoon,
turning it over and over in his hands.
‘I... liked him. He seemed pleasant enough.’ She
couldn’t look at her husband’s eyes as he sat, watching her.
‘Seemed to get on with him very well at the party. You
were positively animated in fact.’
‘I was talking about the children … you know … telling
him how well they were getting on at school.’
‘Really? Obviously Roger finds children very funny.’
‘What?’
‘You were both laughing so much. Everyone noticed.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Sally felt her stomach
tightening.
‘The night of the party. The night you ignored me.’ He
dropped his spoon onto the table.
‘You’re always accusing me! Always doubting me! I’m
tired of your paranoia! If you don’t stop it, I’m leaving you!’
Matthew suddenly rushed up and hugged her. ‘Oh,
darling - I’m sorry.’ She shivered as he kissed the back of her neck. ‘I love
you so much, I’m frightened of losing you ... I know I shouldn’t doubt you.’
Oh yes, you should, she thought, then smiled at him
with all the innocence of their children in her eyes.
[Note the way the characters interact; how Matthew and
Sally’s body language demonstrate their tension, how it characterizes them and
shows the rapid reversal of their moods.]
But don’t you think the dialogue is a little
melodramatic? And how revealing is their body language? How would you change
both so each character reveals something more unsettling about their
relationship?
Here are two links to my book: 1. A review. 2. A link
to my book on Amazon if you’re interested in buying it.
http://bit.ly/v6gl1N
http://amzn.to/qqS2NS
An extract from “HOW TO WRITE AND SELL GREAT SHORT
STORIES”
© 2011
