Linda M James

Tuesday 22 May 2012

THE MILD-MANNERED MAN

I read this story a couple of years ago in a newspaper. It’s incredible, but true.
 A mild-mannered, elderly man walked into a London Police Station and confessed that he had just strangled his wife of 45 years. The police didn’t believe him. His friends and family didn’t believe him, but he insisted that he had indeed strangled her, and as no other suspect was involved, he was charged with murder and the case went to trial. At the court his courtesy and gentleness impressed the judge and jury so much they couldn’t believe it either. Surely it was impossible for such a ‘nice’ man to strangle his beloved wife? It was only when the Judge pressed him further that he explained exactly what had happened.
‘Every day was filled with the routine of tea-drinking at certain times, your Honour. Every day I sat opposite my wife and every day my wife stirred her tea thirty times.’  He stopped speaking and looked at the judge and jury as if that explained it all.  Everyone in the court looked at him in confusion.
‘I don’t understand,’ the judge murmured. ‘How does your wife’s tea-drinking routine have any bearing on her murder?’
‘I have had to watch my wife stirring her tea thirty times, ten times a day for forty five years, your Honour. I couldn’t stand it any longer.’
‘Do you mean to tell me you strangled your wife because she stirred her tea thirty times?’ The judge said incredulously.
‘Yes,’ answered the mild-mannered man quietly.

‘Why on earth didn’t you just tell her you didn’t like it instead of strangling her?’ The judge asked the question everyone in the courtroom wanted to ask.

‘I didn’t like to, your Honour.’
There was an explosion of gasps around the room.
Of course, I’ve written the scene from my imagination after reading the newspaper article. Imagine – this mild-mannered man was given a life sentence because he was too polite to tell his wife that she irritated him intensely!   Oh, the terrible courtesy of some English men!
I often wonder what might have happened if this man had been born in another country. But that’s another story, isn’t it?

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